Over five years ago I began to minimize: selling off, rehoming, recycling, and otherwise giving away storage warehouses full of store fixtures, restaurant equipment, glass working tools, candle making tools, personal mementos, church items, and lots and lots of books.
Over five years ago I weighed over 325 pounds and I have steadily worked on reducing that figure and my overall weight. My blood pressure was high, as was my blood sugar, and heart palpitations plagued me day and night.
Over five years ago I shepherded an historic church in the Independent Sacramental Movement as its Presiding Bishop. I had clergy scattered from coast to coast who offered various ministries within their own particular communities.
Over five years ago I was involved in a committed polyamorous relationship with two other people. Together we had a blended happy and loving family of three adults, two kids, and three cats.
Fast forward five years...
Today, everything I own fits into a 19 foot van I converted into a little Class B RV, a van I live in full time, and a van I call home. It carries me, my very few personal items, and my glassblowing tools, with room for not much more. In fact, if I want to change my mind, I have to step outside.
Today I'm nearing my goal of 185 pounds in weight. After some lifestyle changes, lots of bike riding, and ultimately living in the van and no longer cooking much, I've managed to shed and keep off an enormous amount of weight. I'm happy to say that I'm down 4 sizes. I no longer own a scale and so I don't know what my weight is exactly but I know I'm closing in on my self-imposed target of 185. I'm no longer on blood pressure meds, nor does my blood sugar seem to get out of whack as often, and my heart palpitations have stopped completely.
Today I no longer shepherd Christ Catholic Church. I resigned from my duties within the church a month or so ago and no longer carry that cross around. It continues on and will find its way with yet another shepherd but that person will no longer be me. In fact, I no longer function in any formal church capacity nor am I much of a church goer these days. My faith is intact and always evolving and growing but I don't have much use for that which we call "the church" as such.
Today I no longer share a home with two other adults, two children, or three cats. The two other adults no longer share a life together either, the two kids are with their mother, and the three cats are with their two kids. A happy family that once was, is no more.
I knew I had moved to Fayetteville to lose weight. I just didn't know how much weight I was in for losing. I left much of my heart in Fayetteville Arkansas in particular and in the Ozark Mountains in general and now I'm on the road to find a new way to live in my lessened state, with hopes that I will find heart in my new life.
It's time to let loose of one more thing and leave it behind, my heartache.