Saturday, October 11, 2014

Coming Out

"Coming Out" is such a loaded title. It's full of innuendo and salacious promise but now that I have your attention...

In some ways this has been a long time in coming, in other ways, it's quite anti-climactic. All of you reading this should already know who I am and for the most part what I'm about and how I live my life. After all, I'm quite prolific online with various blogs and social media platforms, where I share many of my thoughts, no small amount of my beliefs, and much of my life. I don't make much of a secret about anything, even if you must sometimes read between the lines.

That being said, I am also, in many ways, old fashioned and a product of a self-sufficient and private upbringing. I have never been one to wear my feelings on my sleeve nor share unnecessarily my own more intimate thoughts, practices, preferences, or orientation. If you should ask, I would tell you anything you wanted to know but in spite of my openness I am still shy and somewhat reserved and often keep my own counsel as it were. There's something to be said for a polite discretion, which is all too often lost in our society today.

However, there's also a lot to be said for standing up and being counted, especially in our ever evolving society, thereby lending our voice, identity, courage, and passion to the beautiful struggle for freedom and human rights for LGBTQIAPP (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersexual, asexual, pansexual, polyamorous) people everywhere.  It is in this spirit that I offer my truth so that I may inspire, empower, and encourage others to do the same.

Many of you know, some of you have guessed, and a few of you may be surprised but I am and always have been bisexual. It's has never been a phase, an exploration, a midlife crisis, a confusion, nor a convenience. I am not gay. I am not straight. At best, I'm queer, but more specifically I'm bisexual.  I'm also well aware of the ongoing and seemingly never ending dialogue in the queer community in regards to the term, definition, and usage of "bisexual" as a label of orientation. As much as I'm not interested in debating my sexual orientation, I'm also not interested in debating my identification, usage, and preference of the term bisexual to describe my sexual orientation. I have have been honored and humbled to have known the love of women and men and those in-between, throughout my life.  To know love, regardless of how it presents and how you label it, is a wonderful and God given thing.

But wait, that's not all...

As an approach to relationship possibilities I embrace polyamory.  While I have lived my life mostly in a series of monogamous relationships, at the request of my partner at the time,  polyamory is the deep and abiding way that I naturally experience relationship and love and when given a choice, I embrace.  You see, I believe love has no limits.  The more you give, the more you have to give.

What is polyamory you ask? Glad you did.

Polyamory is a word that, in short, means "many loves" and is somewhat synonymous with an open relationship status, though not always. It's complicated. Wikipedia, in part, offers this:

"Most definitions center on the concepts of being open to, or engaging in, multiple loving relationships (of whatever form or configuration) wherein all parties are informed and consenting to the arrangement."

If you're interested in more information on polyamory please take a look at Loving More's website:

So let's recap this "coming out" missive just for clarification, I'm a polyamorous bisexual person and have been so all of my life. This is the reality of my self-identity, my preferred relationship paradigm and part of who I am as a child of God, though certainly not the sum total of who I am.

I have never been shy about letting my voice be heard but I feel it's important to add my personal perspective and story to the cacophony of calls for equal rights for LGBTQIAPP (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersexual, asexual, pansexual, polyamorous) people. These "equal rights" are, after all, simply human rights.

Well folks, that's still my story after all these years and I'm sticking to it on this October 11 "#NationalComingOutDay" 2014.

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