Searching for God

"The desert is the theater of the human struggle of searching for God." -Jan Majernik

Day 245 #VanLife: Rubber Tramp Rendezvous 2019

Your Coming Year

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself." -Neil Gaiman

The Gate of the Year

THE GATE OF THE YEAR

‘God Knows'

By Minnie Louise Haskins

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:

“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.” 

And he replied: 

“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.” 

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.
And He led me towards the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East. 

So heart be still: 
What need our little life
Our human life to know, 
If God hath comprehension? 
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low, 
God hideth His intention. 

God knows. His will
Is best. The stretch of years
Which wind ahead, so dim
To our imperfect vision, 
Are clear to God. Our fears
Are premature; In Him, 
All time hath full provision. 

Then rest: until
God moves to lift the veil
From our impatient eyes, 
When, as the sweeter features
Of Life’s stern face we hail, 
Fair beyond all surmise
God’s thought around His creatures
Our mind shall fill.

Happy New Year!

It's a new year! Let's all try and make the best of it! May you and yours have a happy 2019!

From CoolPeopleCare:

"Today is a new day!

You can start fresh,
wipe the slate clean
and begin again.

Today you can:

embrace kindness,
practice compassion,
stand up for justice,
talk to strangers,
ask for help,
offer hope,
listen with your whole heart,
work for the common good,
love well.

You can be the change
you wish to see in the world."

Testing the Blogger App

I've been trying to use the Blogger app for the last year to write blog posts to no avail and I'm just wondering if it's working.

It would certainly be much more convenient for me to use the app on my phone and I think that perhaps I would post more often if I could get the app to work.

So let's see if this works and if it does I shall begin again.

#VanLife Day 200 or Losing Weight

I thought that the 200th day of #VanLife warranted a post. So much has happened since I last made a blog entry, too much to rehash here and much of it I prefer to keep private. However, that being said I wanted to reflect on life so far in regard to weight loss, minimizing, and vanlife.

Over five years ago I began to minimize: selling off, rehoming, recycling, and otherwise giving away storage warehouses full of store fixtures, restaurant equipment, glass working tools, candle making tools, personal mementos, church items, and lots and lots of books.

Over five years ago I weighed over 325 pounds and I have steadily worked on reducing that figure and my overall weight.  My blood pressure was high, as was my blood sugar, and heart palpitations plagued me day and night.

Over five years ago I shepherded an historic church in the Independent Sacramental Movement as its Presiding Bishop. I had clergy scattered from coast to coast who offered various ministries within their own particular communities.

Over five years ago I was involved in a committed polyamorous relationship with two other people.  Together we had a blended happy and loving family of three adults, two kids, and three cats.

Fast forward five years...

Today, everything I own fits into a 19 foot van I converted into a little Class B RV, a van I live in full time, and a van I call home.  It carries me, my very few personal items, and my glassblowing tools, with room for not much more.  In fact, if I want to change my mind, I have to step outside.

Today I'm nearing my goal of 185 pounds in weight.  After some lifestyle changes, lots of bike riding, and ultimately living in the van and no longer cooking much, I've managed to shed and keep off an enormous amount of weight. I'm happy to say that I'm down 4 sizes.  I no longer own a scale and so I don't know what my weight is exactly but I know I'm closing in on my self-imposed target of 185. I'm no longer on blood pressure meds, nor does my blood sugar seem to get out of whack as often, and my heart palpitations have stopped completely.

Today I no longer shepherd Christ Catholic Church.  I resigned from my duties within the church a month or so ago and no longer carry that cross around.  It continues on and will find its way with yet another shepherd but that person will no longer be me.  In fact, I no longer function in any formal church capacity nor am I much of a church goer these days.  My faith is intact and always evolving and growing but I don't have much use for that which we call "the church" as such.

Today I no longer share a home with two other adults, two children, or three cats.  The two other adults no longer share a life together either, the two kids are with their mother, and the three cats are with their two kids.  A happy family that once was, is no more.

I knew I had moved to Fayetteville to lose weight.  I just didn't know how much weight I was in for losing.  I left much of my heart in Fayetteville Arkansas in particular and in the Ozark Mountains in general and now I'm on the road to find a new way to live in my lessened state, with hopes that I will find heart in my new life.

It's time to let loose of one more thing and leave it behind, my heartache.